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  • Writer's pictureJacob Nakia

Expectations Not Met

There are times we may feel we are failing, incapable of creating the life we desire or achieve goals that we expect ourselves to have already accomplished. The thoughts of inadequacy or self-beat-up that flit through our minds due to our own human nature can leave wounds of varying degrees. Some are brushed off for the paper cuts that they are, while others become lasting beliefs about ourselves, reverberating through us, affecting future decisions and beliefs. However, the truth of who we are could not be further from these moments of doubt.

child riding bike in park

Do we forget that we are constantly evolving? Just like children, we all possess the capacity for growth and the calling to fail repeatedly so that one day we can stand. Let’s go through a hypothetical situation momentarily; you are standing nearby when a small child appears with their bicycle. Upon attempting to get onto it and start riding, they fall over and tumble into the grass, scuffing up their pants with bits of grass and dirt. From a distance, we still see them looking to friends riding their bikes with some expertise, obviously wishing to ride with them despite a lack of ability. Yet, they decide instead to sit down on the ground and stare longingly at their peers, visibly heartbroken. What do you do?

What affirmation and encouragement would you offer to soothe this sad child? Most of us would tell them it would be okay, that they could do hard things, and that trying again would be in their best interest. Now, remember that you are a small child. That the same compassion and understanding you would give to others is what you deserve. And although it may be difficult to see, your capacity for exponential growth is no less than anyone else’s. If you have expectations not met by yourself or others, remember that one step at a time will eventually get you there. Even with a few tumbles into the grass. Be patient and show yourself understanding, you deserve compassion, and it starts within.

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